Unforgettable You Page 7

  “He came in here?”

  “For a second.”

  “What’d he say?” She narrowed her eyes. “He doesn’t know about Maya...”

  “No.” Her heart pounded as she thought about how he might feel if he ever found out.

  “So why’d he come? Was he a dick? Did he hurt your feelings?”

  The rapid-fire questions felt like bullets even though Tiffany was clearly on her side. Jada was just so sensitive, so raw. “He didn’t do anything wrong, Tiff.”

  “Coming in here was wrong! What was he thinking? He has to know how your family feels!”

  “Please—calm down. He came to say he’s sorry. Is that so bad?”

  A frown tugged on Tiffany’s mouth. “Oh, that’s how it is.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “You feel bad for him.”

  “Of course I feel bad for him. There were no winners that night.”

  “Still, he should’ve just let it go. His coming in here...that had to have been awkward for you.”

  “It had to have been awkward for him, too. He must think I hate him, that everyone in Silver Springs hates him. You should’ve seen his face when...when I couldn’t find anything to say. He looked like I’d slapped him.”

  “What’d he expect?”

  “I don’t know. But regardless of what anyone has to say about him, that took courage.”

  “He was never a coward.”

  “True.”

  “Why do you think he came back to Silver Springs?” Tiffany asked.

  “You know why.”

  “He could’ve gotten a job somewhere else.”

  “It isn’t easy to say no to Aiyana.”

  “True. No one can bear to let her down. I think that’s why she’s so effective with her ‘boys,’ as she calls them. She loves them until they love her in return, and they clean up their act so she won’t be disappointed in the end.”

  Maddox had been gone for several minutes, and Jada doubted he’d ever come back. Somehow, that made her as sad as everything else.

  Tiffany watched as she wiped a fresh tear from her cheek. “Let me guess. You don’t feel like going out tonight.”

  “No. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay. What you went through wasn’t easy. I haven’t forgotten it, either.”

  “Thanks. Would you mind if we stopped by the grocery store for some ice cream and watched a movie at your place instead of going to Santa Barbara?”

  “Not at all. Should we stop by your house so you can get comfortable, or do you just want to borrow a pair of sweats from me?”

  “I’ll borrow a pair of yours.” She didn’t want to see her mother or Atticus. She needed a break. She’d thought being married to a man she didn’t love was difficult, but living with her mother and brother was beginning to make a loveless marriage look easy.

  Tiffany helped her finish cleaning up the store so they could turn off the lights and lock the front door. Then, just as they were about to push the back door open into the alley, she caught Jada’s arm. “Do you think you’ll ever tell Maya about her father?”

  Jada wrestled with the usual onslaught of guilt she felt for lying to her child, especially for so long. She’d always planned to tell Maya the truth eventually, when she felt Maya was old enough to truly understand and make the best decision where her father was concerned. But now she couldn’t tell her, not while they were living in Silver Springs. Her mother would be furious, and Maddox might be even angrier. What if he demanded his parental rights even though that wasn’t best for Maya?

  Or was it best for Maya?

  “That’s such a hard question.”

  “She’s going to ask about him at some point, won’t she?”

  “She’s already been asking about him—for his name, where his family might’ve moved. She’s hoping there are grandparents and maybe aunts and uncles she doesn’t yet know. Bringing her here has rekindled her interest. That, and she doesn’t have to feel as though she’s being rude to Eric by pushing for this information. Lately, she’s been bugging me for a picture.”

  Tiffany’s eyes widened. “You can’t give her one!”

  “Not now. If we were still living in LA maybe I could have.”

  “Do you even have one?”

  She did. One she’d kept well hidden. “Yeah.” With that, she nearly pushed the door open so they could go but hesitated at the last second. “Do you think I’m doing the right thing?”

  Tiffany shook her head. “I have no idea. I’d hate for her to find out that her father’s not only alive but living in the same town and then be angry with you for not telling her. But...this is such an unusual situation. I wouldn’t know what to do, so I don’t blame you either way. I wouldn’t want to give the wrong advice.”

  “When I was pregnant, you gave me the best advice I’ve ever gotten. I hope you know that.”

  “You just needed someone to talk to.”

  “No, really. I might not have kept her without you. I was that scared of going out on my own and angering and disappointing my parents, who were pressing me so hard. When I think of how close I came, I feel sick inside...”

  “You’ve paid a heavy price to keep her.”

  Jada felt fresh tears well up. “She means everything to me, so no price is too high.”

  * * *

  “Hey, it’s me.”

  Maddox changed the phone to his other ear as soon as he heard the deep and inviting intimacy that couched those softly uttered words. After several hours of agonizing over his visit to the cookie shop, and being unable to block Jada’s stricken expression from his memory, he’d finally gotten to sleep. But the bottle of whiskey he’d been drinking before that, and his half-empty glass, were still sitting on his nightstand, his TV was still blaring loudly on the wall opposite his bed and he was still slightly tipsy. Otherwise, he would’ve been able to overcome the impulse to answer. He’d seen the name on caller ID, knew it was Paris.

  He also knew how any call from her would probably go. That was why he’d been avoiding her since they’d talked the last time. He’d told her he didn’t want her to come to Silver Springs, that it was truly over between them and to quit making it more difficult by trying to tempt him back. But it’d now been weeks when his only company in the evenings was a seventy-six-year-old grower who went to bed by ten.

  “What’s up?” He groped for the remote, which he’d dropped somewhere in his bed, so that he could turn off—or turn down—the TV.

  “I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t quit thinking about you, so... I don’t know. I just had to hear your voice.”

  He found the remote and hit the mute button. “Paris, you know this will only make it harder.”

  “It can’t get any harder! It’s being without you that’s hard. It’s not hearing you call my name.” Her voice fell to a breathy whisper. “It’s not feeling you inside me at night.”

  His groin tightened in response. He wasn’t in love with Paris, but it was beginning to feel like a long time since he’d been with a woman. He missed having immediate access to sex, had tried to let the physical side be enough when they were together. But ultimately he’d realized he’d be a fool to settle if he was satisfied with only one part of the relationship. Paris was a nice girl overall. She was just a little too emotional, clingy, jealous and insecure. She ended up getting on his nerves to the point he’d make up an excuse to leave the house just to get a break.

  He didn’t think that was how it should be between two people. And if he couldn’t love her the way she deserved, he needed to let her go so that she could find someone who could. He was trying to do her a favor, do them both a favor, even though, in ways, it’d be easier to stick with the familiar. If he moved on, maybe one day he’d find someone else, too—someone who didn’t drive him quite so crazy.

/>   That he should maintain his resolve was easy enough to acknowledge. It was easy to act on, too, in the daytime. At night, it became more difficult, especially when, like now, he’d had too much to drink and was missing the physical outlet she’d once provided. “I wouldn’t be able to make you happy, so it’s better if we both find someone else.”

  “I don’t want to find anyone else. There will never be anyone like you. So how could getting back together be a mistake? I love you, Maddox!”

  He squeezed his eyes closed as he let his head fall back on the pillow.

  “I’m touching myself right now,” she said, “thinking about you. The way you kiss my breasts, the way you kiss me.”

  They’d had phone sex once before, so she knew he was vulnerable to this approach. After living with her for two years, they were comfortable together in that way. He’d also gotten used to a certain amount of sexual activity. Having that come to an abrupt end hadn’t been easy. It wasn’t as if he’d been dating other girls; he was living in a new place. Tonight was the first time he’d ever even gone out.

  Maddox was tempted to let his hand slip beneath the covers, to do what he could to relieve the disappointment and frustration he’d been feeling.

  “I’m so wet,” she whispered and started to pant into the phone.

  He could easily imagine what she was doing. His body responded by growing even more aroused.

  But then he remembered how quickly she’d started talking about moving to Silver Springs after the last time he’d let himself succumb to a phone call like this one.

  “Do you want to touch me?” she asked. “Or are you thinking about me touching you? I wish I was there—I want to take you in my mouth.”

  Maddox sucked air in between his teeth. It was so damn lonely here in Silver Springs. It would be so easy to take what she was offering. But if he did, he’d wind up back in the same relationship he’d been trying to end, one he already knew wouldn’t work.

  “Maddox!” She moaned. “God, I want to feel you pushing inside me.”

  He groaned, too, because he was trying so hard to retain control of his mind and his body. “It’s late. I’ve got to go,” he said and hung up before she could respond.

  He’d done it. He’d won that round despite how long it had been since he’d had a sexual release. He felt a moment of relief, maybe even a little pride that he’d succeeded in doing what he felt was right. But even after she was gone, he remained stiff as a board, every muscle tense.

  “Damn it!” He willed himself to relax, to think about anything except sex, but it was no good, because Jada kept coming back into his mind. He thought of how it used to be between them, how they’d been so naturally attracted to each other, so in love that just hanging out was almost as good as having sex.

  Almost but not quite. He’d been with other girls, even at seventeen. He and his brother had been initiated into that world young. At twelve, a friend of his mother’s—“Aunt Liz”—had come into his room late at night. Later that same year, he and his brother walked through the door of their apartment to find their mother giving head to some guy he’d never met.

  But he’d been Jada’s first. And she’d made it all new for him, completely different than anything he’d seen or experienced before. He’d never been with someone who’d felt quite the same way to him, which was why it had been so hard when everything went wrong. She was the best thing he’d ever known.

  He let his hand slip under the covers, after all. But it wasn’t Paris he imagined making love to. It was the adult Jada he’d seen at the cookie shop tonight, and the encounter he envisioned went much differently than the reality. After he walked in, and she looked up at him with those soulful eyes, she smiled and walked into his arms as if all was forgiven, all was in the past. Only the positive memories and feelings remained—and that included the desire.

  “Of all the bad things that have happened in my life, losing you was the worst,” he told her, which was true, and dreamed of her pulling him into the back of the bakery and undoing his pants.

  7

  Jada woke with a headache. Alcohol didn’t agree with her. She typically avoided it, but she’d needed a break from everything that was going on in her life. She had so many hard decisions to make, and the hardest decisions were those regarding Maya. She had to tell her daughter the truth. Putting it off was getting awkward and forcing her to create more lies to cover the ones she’d already told. She hated that but, at this point, if she told Maya who her father was, she could chase her right into his arms. What if Maya decided she wanted him to be a big part of her life? What if she was so angry over learning that her father hadn’t died in a motorcycle accident that she asked to move in with him?

  Jada’s marriage had failed. Her entire family was screwed up because of what she did thirteen years ago taking Atticus to that party. And now her father was dead and she couldn’t even make amends. She’d had enough failures. She didn’t want to ruin the one great thing she did have—and that was her wonderful daughter. She didn’t like the idea of Maya being around Tobias once he got out of prison, or having anything to do with Maddox’s mother. She’d heard enough about Jill to understand that the woman had serious issues. No child should be subjected to what Maddox and his brother had known growing up. Truth be told, she wasn’t even sure Maddox would be good for Maya. Who could say what he was like these days? Aiyana seemed to like and trust him, but Aiyana tended to see the good in everyone.

  “We definitely drank too much last night,” Tiffany said as she shuffled out of her bedroom, squinting against the sunlight streaming in through the windows.

  Jada kicked off the blankets that covered her on the couch. Tiffany’s house was an old farmhouse located in a handy spot a block or so behind the natural foods store at one end of town, but it was small—barely eight hundred square feet. She had only three rooms—a kitchen/living room combo, one bedroom and one bath—so when Jada stayed over, she took the couch. “We should’ve stopped after the first bottle. I tried telling you.”

  Tiffany chuckled. “Well, it was fun while it lasted,” she said as she went to the counter to put on a pot of coffee.

  “Make it strong. I could use a caffeine drip right now.”

  “Me, too.” She checked the clock above the sink, which Jada could see indicated it was nearly nine. “Aren’t you and Atticus going to the farmers’ market today?”

  “No, I texted him last night to say we’ll go next week.”

  “That was smart.” While waiting for the coffee, Tiffany gingerly made her way back and sank into the chair next to the couch. “How’d you sleep?”

  “Like a rock. Thank goodness. You?”

  “Didn’t even roll over. You know today’s the Fourth of July, right?”

  “I knew it was coming up but sort of lost track of it last night.”

  “You didn’t hear my neighbors setting off a few early firecrackers in the middle of the night?”

  “I probably thought it was a figment of my imagination.”

  Tiffany laughed. “So are you taking the day off, or do you have to work?”

  “I have to work—at least until I take Maya to the park to watch the fireworks. I’m so behind.” She sighed as she raked her fingers through her hair. “I’m afraid I’m going to lose the rest of my clients, Tiff. I can’t keep up, not with helping at the store all the time, too.”

  “You’re going to have to tell your mother.”

  “But then she’ll try to manage the store all by herself. And she’s not well enough to do that.”

  “She could have Atticus help.”

  “She’s afraid to demand too much of him.”

  Tiffany pursed her lips. “It would be tough, as a mother, to know whether to push him or just...let him do his thing.”

  “She needs to push him. He’s capable. If he can do all the stuff he wants to do
, he can work.”

  “I suppose.” She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples for a moment before continuing. “So are you going to have a talk with her?”

  “Yes, but now isn’t the time. With Maddox back in town, I’m all about trying to keep emotions on an even keel.”

  Tiffany got up to pour the coffee. “Which means you have to handle your own business and your mother’s, too.”

  “Yeah.” She felt a surge of guilt for putting herself even further behind by drinking and then sleeping in. “I’ll relieve her around two.”

  A cupboard slammed as she got the cups out. “What’s Maya got going today?”

  “She spent the night with Annie, but she texted me before bed to say she wants to come help at the store later on.”

  “Not to change the subject, but...when’s your mother going to tell Atticus that Maddox is back?”

  “That’s what I’d like to know.”

  “Maybe you should do it.”

  Jada scratched her head. Her mother wouldn’t appreciate her stepping in, but she was beginning to think the same thing. She was the one who’d taken him to that party. Maybe she should be the one to explain recent events. “I’m considering it.”

  “Better to get it over with, in my mind.” Tiffany handed her a cup of coffee. “I have to run a few errands, but I was wondering if we could talk for a minute before we both drink our coffee and rush off.”

  The tone of Tiffany’s voice, and her manner, suggested she was about to approach a difficult subject, but what could be more difficult than the problems they’d already discussed? “Of course.”

  “I don’t quite know how to say this, because I don’t want you to think I’m only making things harder, or that I don’t care about your brother, because I do.”

  Jada set her coffee on the table. “Okay...”

  “Bear with me here, but when Tobias shot Atticus, he was only sixteen.”

  “Yes. Everyone knows that.”

  “He was also hallucinating.”

  “According to what he said in court.”

  “I was at that party, too.”