Finding Our Forever Read online

  Was she about to learn what his other girlfriends had learned?

  “Cora? Would you mind?” he repeated eagerly.

  She drew a bolstering breath. “No.”

  * * *

  A bead of sweat rolled down between Cora’s shoulder blades as she stood on the wraparound porch of the large, two-story ranch house that belonged to Aiyana. A gusty breeze tossed her hair around, and she’d worn a light, flowery sundress, so she wasn’t overly warm; she was battling nerves.

  “Relax,” she muttered as she knocked. She’d seen Aiyana’s home before, from a distance. Although built on the periphery of the ranch, it wasn’t far from the administration building.

  Aiyana answered the door. Eli’s truck was already in the drive. Cora saw him the moment Aiyana showed her in, but she barely allowed her glance to skim over him as Aiyana introduced her to Dallas and Gavin, both of whom she’d met, of course, and Liam and Bentley. Cora had Liam as a student in one of her classes, so she was familiar with him, too. A tall, gangly boy with a bit of acne, he excelled in basketball, from what she’d heard. She’d only ever seen Bentley, who was African American, on the football field.

  She handed the wine she’d brought to Aiyana as she said hello to everyone else.

  Eli offered to pour her a drink, but she declined. After imbibing so much at the bar last night, she wasn’t interested in more alcohol. She accepted a bottle of water instead while listening to Liam complain about how much trouble he was having with the self-portrait he’d been assigned in her class. After some small talk with the others, she went up to his room to help with it while Aiyana put the finishing touches on dinner.

  Leaving the kitchen and dining area gave Cora a chance to see more of the house. As she would’ve expected, every room was clean and tastefully decorated. Aiyana had pictures of her boys all over the place—senior portraits, family portraits and candid shots from their various sports. She saw a few of Eli. Like Bentley, he’d played football. But it wasn’t until after she’d helped Liam and set him to finishing the rest of the assignment on his own that she was able to look over those pictures more carefully.

  She wandered down the hall, eventually winding up in the living room. She could hear Aiyana banging around in the kitchen and the boys watching TV in the great room but wasn’t in any hurry to return to the group, especially when she spotted the family photograph she’d been hoping to see of Aiyana with her parents and brothers. It was framed and sitting on an old 1960s piano.

  She’d just picked up that picture when she heard someone come into the room behind her.

  She turned to see Eli.

  “You’re all finished with Liam?”

  “I am. He’s still upstairs working, but I figured I should make him do as much as possible.” She almost put down the photograph. She felt guilty snooping around but was too curious about the people in that photograph, and her connection to them, not to take advantage of the opportunity. “These are your grandparents?” she asked, indicating the couple in the middle.

  “Yeah. Hank and Consuelo.”

  “Your mother mentioned that Consuelo is a Nicaraguan immigrant.”

  “That’s true. She had one son when her husband left her to come to America. He promised he’d make a better life, then send for them.”

  “And?”

  “She never heard from him again.”

  Cora felt her jaw drop. “He moved on without her?”

  “He was killed trying to swim across the Rio Grande to reach Texas. She came looking for him as soon as she could cobble together the money. But she couldn’t find him. It was two years before she learned what happened. By then she was living in a small shack on Hank’s farm with her son—German, who was six at the time—picking fruit.”

  “And Hank fell in love with her?”

  “Eventually. Consuelo married two other guys first, Aiyana’s father, who was an abusive jerk, and another man with whom she had her last two boys. That didn’t work out, either. He walked out on her or something.”

  “Then she married Hank. So Hank’s her fourth husband?”

  A fond smile curved Eli’s lips. “Yes. She finally got it right.”

  “How’d they get together?”

  “He says he fell in love with her cooking first. Her third husband wouldn’t pay his child support, so, to get by, she’d make homemade tortillas and tamales to sell on the weekends. Hank would come to her stand first thing Sunday morning, which was her only day off, and buy almost everything she had.”

  “Wow. He must’ve loved her cooking.”

  “That wasn’t all there was to it. He couldn’t have eaten that many tortillas and tamales. Once they started dating, she found he had a whole freezer full.”

  Cora laughed. “What a story!”

  “I’ve never seen a man adore a woman more than Hank adores Consuelo.”

  His wistful expression caught Cora’s attention. He loved them almost as much as Aiyana. “So...these three must be your mother’s brothers.” She pointed at the other men in the photograph.

  “Yes.” He fingered the one with the darkest skin. “None of the children actually belong to Hank, but he claims them all and loves them as if they do.”

  For which they should all be so grateful. Eli didn’t state that, but the subtext was clear, and that subtext made it difficult for Cora not to bristle. She’d heard a lot of that type of thing herself. “Aiyana’s name is unusual. Is it Nicaraguan?”

  “Consuelo claims it’s Native American for eternal flower. A woman who was part Cherokee came to her rescue one night when she was so hungry and tired she was ready to collapse. German was crying. Neither one of them could go a step farther. So she hid in a barn, hoping to rest before pushing on—only to be discovered by this woman whose name was Aiyana. Consuelo thought she’d be reported or turned out, but Aiyana fed them dinner and gave them a bed to sleep in. To this day, Consuelo says Aiyana was an angel sent from God, that she wasn’t really human.”

  “That’s a beautiful story, too.”

  “Consuelo’s lived a challenging but interesting life. Fortunately, other than old age, her worries are behind her. Hank takes care of her every need. Grandma Sway, as we called her growing up, is the one who gave me my horse,” he added.

  “Atsila?”

  “Yeah. Apparently, the Aiyana who helped her had a horse by the same name, which she gave to Consuelo so that Consuelo would have some mode of transportation, and so that German wouldn’t have to walk anymore. Without that horse, Consuelo swears she and German would not have survived the next two weeks. Not long after, she had to sell it, which broke her heart, but she claims she would’ve starved without that money.”

  “How kind. What does Atsila mean?”

  “I don’t know. I tried looking it up once but couldn’t find anything definitive—other than that it has Native American roots.” He came closer and took the picture from her to look more carefully at it himself. “I figure the real meaning doesn’t matter, anyway. To me, it means compassion.”

  “I bet the original Aiyana would be proud of her namesake,” Cora said. “Your mother seems to be very generous herself.”

  “Yes. Not only has she helped me and my brothers, she’s helped so many.”

  After what Eli had been subjected to, he’d deserved his own “angel.” So did the others. And yet Cora couldn’t help feeling rejected, jealous, left out, overlooked...something that felt like a knife to the heart. “Has she said why she’s never had any biological children?”

  “No. I’ve always assumed that maybe she couldn’t.”

  Cora stood as living proof that Aiyana wasn’t infertile. But, of course, she couldn’t say anything to refute the assumption. “Darci told me that Cal Buchanon has been in love with her for years.”

  “They spend a lot of tim
e together, more than she lets on to me or anyone else, if she can help it.”

  “She must care for him, too.”

  “I’m pretty sure she does.”

  “What gives?”

  He scratched his neck. “She’s afraid of getting hurt, or feels as if devoting herself to a relationship like that will take away from her work or something. I can’t figure it out myself. And she won’t talk about it.” He put the picture back on the piano. “Why does this stuff seem to mean so much to you?”

  Only then did Cora realize she was being too transparent. Straightening, she forced back the frustration and disappointment, as well as the curiosity she’d manifested so far, and conjured a polite expression. “I didn’t mean to give you the impression it was overly important. I was curious, that’s all.”

  Fortunately, he didn’t get the chance to question her further. At that point, Aiyana called them to dinner.

  Chapter Eleven

  During the meal, Dallas tried to tease Cora about last night with a few carefully placed innuendos. But it seemed to Eli that Cora was too distracted and preoccupied to focus on Dallas or what he said, even when he made reference to what’d happened outside the bar. She’d smile or laugh where appropriate, but only Aiyana could claim her full attention. By the end of dinner, after Cora had helped Aiyana put the leftover pot roast, vegetables, mashed potatoes and cheesecake in the fridge and do the dishes, Eli was feeling a bit neglected. He got the distinct impression that she’d come to see his mother, that he had nothing to do with her desire to join them, especially when, instead of watching TV with everyone else, the two women went into the living room and talked for over an hour.

  When he got up to fetch a glass of water, or he simply made an effort to listen, he could hear various bits and pieces of their conversation. Most of it was about the ranch—Aiyana’s philosophy for the school, the fact that she’d chosen to place New Horizons in Silver Springs because it had wide-open spaces but wasn’t too far from a major population center, why she’d adopted each one of her sons and which students she was concerned about this year.

  He thought he might finally get a few crumbs of Cora’s attention when they rejoined the group—even if it was only a quick, private smile. Instead, as soon as they finished visiting, Cora said she should go, that she had to get ready for her classes in the morning.

  They’d made crazy, impromptu, almost animalistic love outside at the bar last night and then again in the shower this morning, but she’d hardly given him the time of day since coming to dinner.

  “Thanks so much for having me,” she told Aiyana. “You have a lovely home and a wonderful family.”

  “You’re welcome. It’s nice to have a little estrogen in the house,” she said with a laugh. “You must join us again next Sunday. Dallas won’t be here. He leaves on Tuesday. But Eli, Gavin, Liam and Bentley will.”

  “I’ll do that, but only if you let me bring the dessert or another dish.”

  “I’m sure I could be persuaded,” Aiyana told her.

  “It was really great to meet you,” Cora said to Dallas. “I’m sorry you have to leave town so soon.”

  “There are mountains to climb,” he joked as he got up to hug her goodbye. Eli got off the couch, too, and was standing close enough to hear Dallas whisper something like, “Take good care of my brother.”

  Whether that was really what Dallas said or not, Cora turned and gave him a dutiful hug, one no different from the kind she’d imparted to everyone else. “Again, thank you.”

  “Eli, why don’t you walk her out?” Aiyana piped up as Cora grabbed her purse.

  Eli wasn’t sure if that suggestion was as random as Aiyana pretended, but he didn’t care. He was eager for a few minutes alone with Cora, so he was grateful his mother had tapped him instead of one of his brothers. “Sure.”

  “Dinner was wonderful,” Cora said as they strolled down the drive side by side, without touching. “Now that my brother and I are adults, my mother doesn’t bother to cook anymore. She’s very generous about inviting us over for carryout, or taking us to a restaurant, so I’m not complaining. But a big Sunday meal from scratch? That’s almost unheard of these days.”

  “It’s not like it was a sacrifice to have you. You can come back next Sunday. You heard my mom.”

  “I’d like that,” she said, but he didn’t get the impression he was the reason she’d like it, and that bothered him.

  “Are you really going home to get ready for classes?” he asked as he opened her car door for her.

  “Yeah. I promised my students we’d start ceramics this week. Now that I’m more familiar with their skill level, I need to figure out the ideal project and how much time it will require on the throwing wheel.”

  He almost said, And if I’d like to see you again? but he got the distinct impression that something was causing her to distance herself from him and he’d be stupid to push.

  “You look incredible in that dress,” he said instead, which was the truth. Ever since she’d arrived, he’d had difficulty looking anywhere except at her.

  He was glad he’d told her that when, at last, she focused on him—and smiled. “Thank you,” she said, but she didn’t try to set up their next meeting, didn’t ask if he’d call, didn’t say a word about getting together with him again. “Good night,” she added, and that was his signal to close the door.

  * * *

  The TV played in the background as Cora curled up on her couch and thumbed through the file the private investigator had, after much searching, provided on Aiyana. There wasn’t a great deal in it, just some basic background information—where and when Aiyana was born, where she grew up, a couple of articles on New Horizons. Thanks to California’s adoption laws, Cora had been unable to get the records that were sealed by the court. She’d had an attorney working on that, but because of various details her adoptive mother had let slip—like where and when she was born and at which hospital—the private investigator had come through first. So she’d given up on pursuing the court order. Several states had unsealed their adoption records. She hoped California would soon follow suit. Then maybe she’d be able to find out who her father was—if his name was on her original birth certificate. Adoptees had access only to their ABC or Amended Birth Certificate, which not only facilitated the change in the name of the parents but could list a different place of birth. In some instances, agencies even altered the day of birth. Fortunately, Cora hadn’t been given a new birthday. Otherwise, chances were she never would’ve found Aiyana.

  Or...maybe that would’ve been for the best. She’d spoken to several other adoptees, online and otherwise, who’d told her to be careful what she wished for. They’d been disappointed in their birth mothers, but she was not. She respected Aiyana, admired her and wished she could be part of her life in a more significant way than merely working for her. But she couldn’t see how she’d ever be able to do that if she was still sleeping with Elijah.

  Regardless of Elijah, did she dare—or even have the right—to upset Aiyana’s life by announcing her true identity? Would Aiyana be happy to have found her?

  That would probably depend on the reason Aiyana had given her up, and there was no file, attorney or private detective who could provide that information. Perhaps her grandmother could shed some light on the matter, but even that wasn’t guaranteed. It was possible Consuelo had never been made aware of the pregnancy. Aiyana had had Cora when she was twenty-one, so she’d been an adult but not a well-seasoned one. Maybe Consuelo hadn’t approved of the relationship that’d left Aiyana pregnant, and that was part of the reason Aiyana had acted as she did.

  After staring at the grainy picture in the newspaper clipping that’d given Cora her first glimpse of Aiyana, she put down the file and picked up her phone. She hadn’t yet returned Lilly’s call. She needed to do that, didn’t want her ado
ptive mother to feel as if she was being neglected.

  “There you are!” her mother exclaimed as soon as she answered. “How are you, sweetheart?”

  Cora rubbed her left temple with her free hand. “I’m doing great. How are you, Mom?”

  “Missing you. It’s not the same without you here. I have no one to go shopping with,” she said in a pouty voice that Cora knew was a joke.

  “I’ll go shopping with you when I visit next.”

  “Yes. We’ll have you try on that dress I found. You’re going to love it.”

  “I’m sure I will.”

  “Your father and I thought you might come home again this weekend, we’re sad when we didn’t see you. What’d you do?”

  Cora considered mentioning that she’d had dinner at Aiyana’s but decided it wasn’t necessary. “I’ve met a new friend—another teacher here at the school named Darci. We went out last night.”

  “How nice. I’m so relieved you’re adjusting. I was afraid you wouldn’t like it, and this year would prove long and miserable. I was surprised when you decided to go there instead of accepting the position at Woodbridge. But you don’t regret it?”

  “No. Not at all,” she said, and that was mostly true. If nothing else, the rabid curiosity that’d nearly driven her mad over the years had been appeased, to a point. As she finished talking to her mother she had to admit, however, that she had no idea if she’d regret what she was doing in the end.

  Chapter Twelve

  Cora knew she shouldn’t have accepted when Eli texted her while she was at lunch the following day to see if he could take her horseback riding in the evening. After having dinner at Aiyana’s, she was more aware than ever that she was putting them all in a difficult position. She’d decided to back away, had assumed she still had the fortitude—until she heard from him this afternoon and had thrown all of that out the window with a “one more time” excuse.