When We Touch Read online

  Most people wouldn’t put a telescope in the living room because it would obstruct their view of the television. But Brandon’s TV was in the loft area above. Down here, various geodes and old weapons, artifacts and sculptures lined bookshelves that also contained a surprising array of books, mostly nonfiction. She spotted one on astronomy, another on Buddhism and a third on the history of China.

  “China?” she murmured while he was in the kitchen, getting her some ice. She’d never taken him for a scholar. Since he made his living as an extreme skier, he was often videotaped plunging down the steepest slopes in the world. She thought he was foolish to risk his life doing a thing like that once, let alone again and again, but there appeared to be some fringe benefits to his job besides the high pay and adrenaline rush. Obviously it had taken him to many different countries.

  “Are you an art collector?” she called, studying several paintings.

  He came into the room carrying the most technically advanced ice pack she’d ever seen. “Not really. I pick up what appeals to me. Most of it’s from unusual places. I love to travel.”

  “I can tell.” He was consumed by wanderlust. No wonder he’d never, to her knowledge, become serious about one particular woman. It was tough to maintain a relationship under such circumstances.

  “What about you?” he asked.

  She pulled her gaze from a photograph of an African woman holding the hand of a child in some faraway jungle she’d probably never see. “I don’t get the opportunity very often.”

  Although she’d been planning weddings and other events since she’d graduated from Sac State with a degree in business administration, moving to Sacramento had required she take on some expenses that she’d never had before. Not only was she living on her own for the first time since renting a small house with three other girls in college, she’d leased an office and was paying for advertising in the hope of attracting new clients. The money she’d saved while living with her parents once she’d returned to Whiskey Creek needed to be held in reserve, just in case.

  “Would you like to see more of the world if you could?” he asked.

  She fingered an elephant carved out of wood. “Absolutely,” she replied, but she wasn’t really considering the possibility. She was too preoccupied wondering how the Brandon suggested by this house could be so different from what she’d taken him to be, which was much more the typical jock.

  “I’m planning a backpacking trip across Nicaragua in a few weeks.” He bent to look into her face. “You could come with me.”

  The idea of escaping held massive appeal. But she wasn’t sure it was a legitimate offer. Most people didn’t extend invitations like that off the cuff. “You’re going across the entire country?”

  “Nicaragua’s not that big.”

  “I have a feeling it might seem big if you’re walking.”

  He smiled. “That’s the best way to see it.”

  She didn’t know much about South America. She’d always been more concerned with the geography she navigated right here in California—especially finding the right place to live after leaving Whiskey Creek. “I wish I could,” she said in a throwaway statement that took for granted he hadn’t been serious.

  He didn’t press the issue. He motioned to a soft leather couch. “Have a seat. Let’s get this on your hand.”

  She was tempted to choose one of the hammocklike chairs that hung from the ceiling instead. They had, no doubt, come from Mexico or some other country and looked comfortable. But, in deference to her injured hand, she decided against getting into something she might have difficulty getting out of.

  Once she was settled in, he examined her hand before putting the ice pack on it. “You should get this x-rayed.”

  “I couldn’t have broken any bones throwing a tantrum,” she said, but she knew that was denial talking. She just didn’t want to face that she might’ve caused herself some stiff medical bills and the inconvenience of going home in a cast.

  “I’m not so sure,” he responded. “If the pain doesn’t go away in the next day or so, definitely have it checked.”

  He should know about broken bones. Not long ago, he’d tumbled off a cliff in Switzerland and broken his right leg in three places. They’d replayed the footage of it on the local news over and over. Almost everyone had seen it. As a result of that spill, he’d been on crutches, convalescing for much of the last year she and Kyle were dating. In the past twelve months she’d seen him around town more often than she had in the ten years since prom.

  He arranged the ice pack on her hand and headed back to the kitchen.

  “Do you ever get lonely out here?” she asked, looking toward the giant window directly across from her. From where she sat, she couldn’t see the water, but she knew the river cut through the ravine below.

  “Not really.”

  That was a stupid question, she told herself. Why would he get lonely? He could have a woman visit any time he wanted.

  “Do you ever get lonely in Sacramento?” he called back.

  After living at home with her family since college, and dating Kyle for three of those years—seeing him every day—Sacramento had been a big change. She’d been more than lonely; she’d been positively bereft. But no one wanted to hear someone sniveling on and on about a past relationship. Other than that lapse of sanity in her car, she thought she’d managed to absorb the pain without showing how bad she really felt. “I try to keep myself so busy I don’t even have time to think about stuff like that.”

  “No wonder you lost your cool.”

  His response surprised her. “Excuse me?”

  “You haven’t dealt with the blow.”

  “I refuse to feel bad about a man who could do what Kyle did. That’s all.”

  He reappeared with some painkillers and a glass of water. “Here, take these.”

  She swallowed the pills, then eyed him dubiously when he said, “To be honest, I don’t understand why you’re here.”

  “You invited me,” she pointed out, purposely misunderstanding.

  “You know what I mean.”

  With a wince, she adjusted the ice pack. “Everyone’s wondering whether I’ll show up. I felt it was best to come back with my head held high. Not coming would only have confirmed to Kyle and Noelle that I’m still hurt.”

  “I admire your courage, but…”

  He thought she’d bitten off more than she could chew. That episode in the car proved it. “I won’t break down again.”

  “There’s no shame in loving someone, Olivia.”

  As if he knew anything about it. She almost said that, but stopped herself. Why be unkind? He wasn’t the person who’d wronged her. She knew better than to give him the chance. “There is if that someone is marrying your sister,” she grumbled. “Everyone’s watching me, waiting for the tears to flow.” And he’d actually witnessed them…

  His expression softened. “Kyle screwed up.”

  “I appreciate the sentiment, even if you are sort of obligated to say that to someone who’s going through what I am.”

  He didn’t try to convince her he’d meant it more honestly. “Just because you’re in town doesn’t mean you have to stay,” he said. “I’m the only one who’s seen you.”

  “You’re suggesting I leave? Miss the wedding? She’s my sister.”

  “That goes both ways. Most people would say she had no business hooking up with your boyfriend.”

  The fact that Kyle had been her boyfriend made him that much more desirable for Noelle. It was a strange but undeniable dynamic. Noelle had always coveted what she had. “What good would it do to nurse my resentment? To tear my family apart?” she asked. “Besides, I have to attend the wedding. I’m planning it.”

  His thick eyebrows jerked together. Because he’d removed his sunglasses the moment they walked into the house, she could see his eyes. She wasn’t sure that was a good thing. They were so beautiful they could render a woman helpless with a single, smoldering glance
—especially a woman who needed to feel desired again.

  “You’re planning it?” he said. “Why the hell would you do that?”

  The anger in his voice made her stiffen. “That’s what I do for a living. That’s what I’ve been doing since college.”

  “Doesn’t mean you had to do this wedding. Why didn’t you say no?”

  “To my parents?”

  “They had no right asking you.”

  “They couldn’t afford anyone else. I have all the contacts. I could do it much more easily than they could themselves. Besides, they want me to forgive her. They want to maintain peace and harmony in the family.”

  “That’s bullshit. They should’ve protected you, told her to elope.”

  Olivia had never dreamed she’d be commiserating with Brandon Lucero. Apparently their mutual dislike of Kyle had pulled them onto the same team. “Why haven’t you ever gotten along with your stepbrother?” she asked.

  “Kyle’s not bad,” he replied. “Not anymore.” He returned to the kitchen a third time and came back with two glasses of wine, one of which he handed to her.

  “That didn’t really answer my question.”

  “I was fifteen when he came into my life.”

  “And?”

  He seemed reluctant to continue, acting as if it was in the past and didn’t matter anymore. But she could tell it did.

  “Oh, come on,” she said. “He was sleeping with my sister within a week of our break. We weren’t even supposed to be seeing other people. I’m not going to stick up for him.”

  “There’s no need for anyone to stick up for him. Everyone knows I’m the black sheep.”

  “You’re saying he’s had it easier than you?”

  He took a sip of his wine. “By the time he came into my life, it’d been ten years since my dad died.”

  “I heard he was in a plane crash. Is that true?”

  “It was his own plane. He loved to fly; but there was a malfunction....”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “I was only five when it happened.” He sat across from her. “But by the time my mother remarried, I was comfortable, no longer craving a father or a brother. My mother and I were doing just fine.”

  “Then she met Bob Houseman and…everything changed.”

  He nodded. “Suddenly I lost the company of my friends and found myself in a new town, a new school. Not only that but I had this father figure who was bossing me around and laying down strict rules. I had a brother, too, who meant the absolute world to him, which meant I could never compete. That made having a dad more of an illusion than a reality.” He studied the wine in his glass. “The worst part was how it affected my mother. She was so eager to please them both that I was quickly relegated to the backseat, expected to understand and adapt.” He fell silent before finishing with, “There were just a lot of changes.”

  So he felt that Kyle and Kyle’s father had stolen his previous life and his mother from him. When she looked at it from his point of view, she could see why. It sounded as if Kyle had been in a better position to enjoy the new family dynamic. It would be hard to start over in high school, hard to have your position usurped.

  Was that why he’d used his good looks and charisma like a weapon?

  “How do you feel about Kyle now?” she asked.

  “None of what bothered me then seems to matter anymore. I’ve come to terms with it.”

  She got the feeling that wasn’t completely true. Maybe the animosity had died down, but.... “Do you think you’ll ever be close?”

  “Probably not. Imagine taking two boys with strong personalities, competitive personalities, both oldest sons and trying to force one to become ‘the little brother’ after years and years of living a different life. Although I was younger, I refused to let Kyle best me at anything, and he resented the constant challenge.”

  “I’m sure it didn’t help that you went your own ways so soon after your parents were married.”

  “I don’t follow you....”

  “You never really got a chance to adjust.” Kyle had headed off to college just two years after the wedding, right after she and Brandon went to Brandon’s junior prom, which was something that had always bugged Kyle—even though he and Olivia weren’t dating back then. By the time he returned, Brandon was gone. Then they started their careers and, with Brandon out of town so much, it’d been easy for Kyle to forget he even had a stepbrother. Most of the time, he hadn’t wanted to talk about Brandon.

  “Actually I think we were both relieved about the separation,” he said with a wry grin.

  “If he finds out I’m here, you could be looking at another challenge to your relationship.”

  He winked at her. “I’m willing to take that risk.”

  She glanced around the room. “You’re willing to take any risk.”

  His eyes never left her face. She could feel his close regard, even though she avoided eye contact. “Only if I want something badly enough.”

  Olivia’s phone rang, saving her from a response. She was glad. Whether or not he’d meant what he’d said as a pickup line, she’d felt a tingle down to her toes. She prayed her reaction was because her self-esteem had hit an all-time low. She needed to heal before she involved herself in another relationship, especially with someone so likely to use her without a second thought.

  She checked Caller ID. It was her mother. Nancy had been expecting her and must be getting worried. They were supposed to make the favors for the reception after dinner tonight. Olivia had the supplies in her trunk.

  Sending Brandon a look asking his forbearance, she overcame her reluctance to take this call and answered, infusing as much lift into her voice as possible. “Hello?”

  “Where are you? I was sure you’d be here by now.”

  Olivia allowed herself a grimace. “I, uh, had a little accident.”

  “With your car?”

  “No. I tripped while loading up and hurt my hand. So I’m running late.”

  Brandon was watching her, but she continued to avoid his gaze.

  “How bad is it? You didn’t break any bones…”

  “I doubt it,” she said, removing the ice pack to take a look.

  “Do you need Dr. Harris to x-ray it?”

  “We’ll see. I’ll be there shortly.”

  “Dinner’s at six.”

  She heard the subtle threat in that statement. They’d eat without her if she wasn’t there. “I’ll make it.”

  “Good. Kyle and Noelle are here waiting.”

  “I bet they are.”

  Her mother had to have heard the sour note in her voice, but, wisely, she didn’t react to it. Since the news of Noelle’s pregnancy, Nancy had done her best to minimize Olivia’s previous relationship with Kyle. The way she told the story, Noelle was marrying an “old friend” of her other daughter’s. Never mind that she and Kyle had slept together. Never mind that they’d talked about marriage themselves.

  “Hurry. We have a lot to do.”

  “See you soon.” After she hung up, she returned her attention to Brandon. “It was very gallant of you to rescue me from my imaginary bee attack, but I’ve got to go.”

  “You sure you’re ready for what lies ahead?”

  “No, but I never will be. It’s like going in for a root canal. Better to get the pain over with.” She rolled her eyes. “Noelle and Kyle are anxiously awaiting my arrival.”

  “Lucky you,” he said dryly.

  “Exactly.”

  “Where are you staying?”

  “My parents’.”

  He made a face. “Isn’t your sister living there?”

  She drank the rest of her wine, put her glass on the coffee table and got up. “Until Saturday night, when her new husband whisks her off to wedded bliss.”

  “You’re more forgiving than I am.”

  “I could pay for a hotel, but I’d be a hundred bucks poorer. How would that bother them?”

  “Good point.” He stood, too. “
Just don’t let loose on any inanimate objects again. You might break your other hand.”

  “I’ve learned my lesson,” she responded, but just hearing her mother’s voice had put a lump in her throat. She couldn’t help feeling betrayed by her parents, too, because they were so eager to throw their support behind this wedding. She knew they had a grandchild at stake, but still…

  After using his bathroom to fix her makeup, she found Brandon standing at the window, looking outside. “What do you think? Can you tell I’ve been crying?”

  “I never would’ve guessed.”

  She suspected he might be placating her, but she didn’t push. “Maybe I should change into something more conservative.”

  “Are you kidding?” He whistled. “Let Kyle eat his heart out.”

  That almost made her smile, until she imagined the reality of the next few hours. “I’ll probably be the miserable one.”

  Although he continued to study her, she could tell he’d shifted gears. “If it gets too bad, you could always come back here.”

  She arched her eyebrows. “So we could…”

  His grin turned her knees to water. “Sleep. Of course. And I won’t charge you for the room.”

  “Maybe you’d let me check out your big telescope,” she said, widening her eyes in feigned innocence.

  “If you want to see the stars, I could give you a night to remember,” he said, playing along.

  She laughed. “The ultimate revenge?”

  “No,” he said, growing serious. “What I’ve wanted since prom.”

  “That’s why you dropped me off at the end of the night and have avoided me ever since?”

  “I knew I wasn’t what you needed. You’re too sensitive.”

  He was right. That had been true then, and it was true now. If someone as trustworthy and admired as Kyle could hurt her so terribly, how would she ever survive the kind of emotional damage someone like Brandon could wreak?

  “But I’ll go easy on you,” he added with a grin. “My number’s in your phone, in case you need it.”

  “Thanks.” She was surprised he’d taken the liberty. She was a little flattered, too. But she had no intention of returning. She hadn’t been with a man in three months. That wouldn’t have seemed like a long time before her relationship with Kyle, but it felt like an eternity now that she knew what she was missing. She couldn’t come back. She’d only get herself into trouble if she did, because it wasn’t Brandon’s telescope she wanted him to share.